Compatibility, physical attraction and chemistry are some of the elements that people find important in a relationship. But, somehow many people tend to be dense when it comes to choosing their partners. Many couples are unaware of the dynamics that would make a relationship successful.
So the question is: how important is a relationship compatibility in choosing your partner? Does attraction, chemistry or love matters more?
The Dynamics of Compatibility
We all want to find a relationship that is perfect and would last a lifetime. Let’s take a look in long term relationships like marriages. Do different personality, backgrounds, education level, values, interests and lifestyle has a big influence for two people to stay together? What about physical compatibility – is being sexually in-tune comprises compatibility? Or does it merely just an icing to your relationship?
According to many experts compatibility has their own measures. Let us take a look at some of them:
- Personality – they say opposites attract. But, when it comes to being compatible it is not about being opposite or having the same character. It is about two natures getting in sync with one another.
- Interests and values – having a common ground is a way to liking and loving a person.
- Backgrounds and levels – this is the 21st century where levels in society are not much of a big deal. However cultural ethnicity, political background or religion is still a key factor that could influence many relationships.
- Sexual compatibility – chemistry is what most people call it. Intense chemistry could create a healthy balance in a relationship. But a good chemistry could easily dissipate, if a couple could not agree even on little things.
Does Love Matter?
Relationship compatibility is sometimes overrated according to many counsel experts. They further reiterated that being happy in a marriage does not center on being compatible with one another. Although most couples who got divorced reason out that they grew apart from the relationship. However, as psychologist Robert Epstein emphasized even if personality is important for people to be together, the ability to work on a relationship can be learned and improved for two opposing personalities.
So does love got anything to do with this? Sigmund Freud said that love is the cornerstone of our humanness that whoever falls in love becomes humble and pawned a part of their narcissism. Was he right? Does it have sense at all?
If you make an in-depth analysis – we have to tell you to stop right there. Love is simple and complex on its own. And as we try to find love, it becomes more alluring. Sometimes even holding on to love or letting go is even harder. As Freud says one is crazy when in love. So being sensitive to compatibility could mean trouble in a relationship. You don’t have to define love – it just happens and totally redefines compatibility.
What Do We Make of Compatibility
People who believed that compatibility is a baseline of a good relationship will find it difficult to find happiness. All relationships are unique on its own and have its defining dynamics. There may be a difference in your lives, but, in time compatibility sets in without even you knowing it.
Character, attraction, sexual chemistry, cultural ethnicity, background may create relationship compatibility. Or it may be prudent for someone to find their perfect match. Even so, it may not be a guarantee to have a successful and happy marriage. To be more precise, it is a choice to make a marriage as perfectly compatible in every way even if how wrong you are for each other.
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